Mary Hunt is an author, consumer financial expert and personal finance coach who has wonderful money management tips. Her website, Debt-Proof Living, has helped hundreds of thousands of people manage their personal finances and get out of debt. There are tons of tips, humor and great information to help you stretch your dollar. She’s not just somebody who’s got a lot of great advice–she’s been through it, and paid back over $100,000 of unsecured debt. It’s inspiring and timely. You can read more about her story by clicking here.

I joined years ago when the site was called Cheapskate Monthly and I still consider it a valuable resource for me and my family. Yes, I love the finer things in life, but when we made the move to Hawaii, we left behind a few things, including some pretty big jobs that gave us a pretty big income. No longer. We used our savings to launch our company and our simpler lifestyle meant that we had to figure out how to make our money work smarter for us. The trade-off for us has been worth it, but we’ve had to get creative on how we manage our money, and Mary Hunt has been a huge help (and, if you follow her plan, you can afford those finer things in life, too)!

The two things I love the most are the RDRP (rapid debt reduction plan) calculator and the Tiptionary. Her monthly newsletter is also a great read and will inspire you to make wise decisions. You can preview an issue for free and sign up for free email updates but you might find the annual membership of $29 the best money you’ve ever spent. You might even think about giving yourself a membership for the holidays. She also has several books out (I’ve read almost all of them and they’re all fantastic). Maybe this holiday season consider foregoing the fruitcake and giving the gift of information instead. I can’t say enough good things about Mary and her website, and she’s enabled my family to live and pursue our dreams here in paradise.

Let me know if you find this post useful–given our current economy, I say the more good information and education, the better! She’ll help you stay hopeful if things feel tight. There is always a way, remember that!

“Her straightforward advice ranges on subjects from coupons and discount shopping to insurance policies … Hunt’s upbeat attitude doesn’t come across as a lecture and she makes it clear she’s not denying herself simple pleasures.”  Los Angeles Times

“Hunt has become so competent at pinching pennies that she teaches others the fine art through Debt-Proof Living.” Business Week

I write about female characters who are in their mid-life, who have been going about their business thinking that everything is fine. And it is, of course, but what they don’t know is that life has more in store for them. But for both Deidre McIntosh and Marissa Price, they are brought into these changes somewhat reluctantly. Why mess with the status quo when the status quo seems to be working just fine? And even if something isn’t perfect, at least there are other things that are, and that should be good enough, right?

Well, for starters, I guess I’ve always believed that we all have the capacity to experience great things in our lives, myself included. And yet for some reason many of us stop ourselves short of getting, or saying, what we really want. A dear friend of mine asked me, “If someone were to walk through your door today and ask you, ‘What do you really want?’, could you tell them immediately?”

I can’t tell you how sobering it was to realize that no, I couldn’t! At least not right away, and therein lies the problem. It’s not a question you need to think about. Sure, I have my short list of material things, of things that would be cool or fun to experience, of better relationships and friendships, but when presented with a question that was meant to be answered from the heart, I froze up.

What do I really, really want?

Well, I will be honest and say that I spent a while feeling guilty that I didn’t have the answer to that question. What kind of person was I, not to know? And to top it off, I also had a lot of mom issues come up for me this week. So I added that on top of the heap: what kind of mom was I, not to know?

I’m a cerebral person, and I am grateful for the mind I have but it can also do a number on me. Being under the weather (a cold/flu thing this week, something a lot more serious a couple weeks back) really helped me to get out of my mind and into my body, though not without one heck of a fight.

I think we all want to be real, but we’re not so sure what that means, so we try all sorts of different experiences and roles (perfect mom, wife, senior VP, school volunteer, business owner) in an attempt to get more clear. But then some of us get, shall we say, a little stuck in those roles or experiences. And you can feel it, inside, when that happens. Not sure what I’m talking about? Here are some of the symptoms: fatigue, exhaustion, frustration, guilt.

And that’s what happened to me.

So, now that we know, what comes next? Well, choosing some new experiences for one. What feels good to you? What makes you feel better, not worse, when you think about it? Better yet, what makes you feel REALLY good, maybe even a little joyful or exuberant, when you think about it? Can you think about those new experiences without adding a “but”? Okay, it won’t be easy at first, but what have you got to lose? No, potential disappointment over a potential new experience doesn’t count–we’re in a creative space here. So if a “but” comes up, just stop yourself and put a period right before that three-letter word.

That’s where I am right now. In the process of choosing some new experiences, and being okay with that. It doesn’t take away from any of your previous experiences. You don’t have to do anything, just think about what feels good. Period. Cut the but. I’ve got at least another 40 years to go and that’s a lot of time to try on some new experiences. And I’m going to loosen up on some of my previous experiences, the ones that were good (and not so good) but that I was still holding on to (and tight!).

I want to be able to choose and create a fulfilling future rather than be brought into it kicking and screaming–not that it doesn’t work that way, too, but it’s a heck of a lot more enjoyable the first way.

If you’re in a similar space, I invite you to add an intention of something that you want in a comment below. I’m all for us getting us much of what we want, and in the most joyful of ways–myself included!

One thing that’s great about the blogosphere is meeting so many amazing people, especially women!

I’d like to introduce you to Stephanie Kalfus, founder and owner of Too Hot Tot Bling, which makes custom onesies with the finest bling available.

The onesies are available in six sizes and are 100% cotton. They sell for $30 and come in a lovely organza bag.

I love hearing about how people find their inspiration so I’ve asked Stephanie to take a moment from her busy schedule to tell us a little more about her company. Read on to learn more and find out how you can win one of her wonderful custom onesies!

A gal in my neighborhood was blinging Converse sneakers for babies and I thought they looked amazing. I said, “I could do that,” but I didn’t want to do the same thing so I started blinging my granddaughter, Nicole’s, clothing.

It got to the point where she didn’t have anything that wasn’t blinged. I blinged her shoes, her socks, her hats, her t-shirts, her onesies, her bows, her pants, etc … oh, everything I could get my hands on. I loved doing it so much that when the daughter of a good friend of mine had a baby girl, I made two onesies as a present for her. Well, she loved them so much that she told me I should go into business, and I thought, why not? So here I am, in the blinging business!

Q: Who are some of your favorite authors?

I love Kurt Vonnegut, Herman Hesse, Alexander McCall Smith, oh, my tastes are very eclectic. I love doing crossword puzzles.

Q: What are you currently reading?

My all-time favorite book is Ulysses by James Joyce, a difficult read but certainly worth it. The words are musical and colorful, it’s like listening to music or looking at a painting. Joyce was wonderfully creative, a genius who made up words to describe feelings.

THE GIVE-AWAY!

Stephanie made an adorable onesie for Luke, and has generously offered to give one away to one of my blog readers! This give away is open for readers WORLD WIDE, so anyone can enter!

For one (1) entry, all you have to do is leave a comment below telling her what you’d have her customize the onesie with (i.e. a name or image) and who it would be for, if you win. Visit her website or her blog for ideas!

For three (3) entries, blog about this giveaway and link back to this post.

The contest will run until September 22, 2008. We’ll draw one lucky winner and announce it on this post. Good luck!

You write … you have a cup of tea … you write .. you buy groceries … you write … you eat dinner … you write … you give your kids a bath … you write … you sleep (if you’re lucky) … you write … you pay your rent … you write … you cry and lament about how hard this whole process is … and you write, you write, you write.

And, eventually, it happens. The book leaves the nest, flies to New York, and eventually makes its way out into the world.

OK, so maybe that’s being a bit dramatic. But I am honestly thrilled that today is the day that my second novel, SWEET LIFE (Berkley Books), officially hits bookstores everywhere. It’s the story of New Yorker Marissa Price, a corporate executive turned full-time mom who trades in her stilettos for sandals when the family moves to Hawaii in a seemingly impossible pursuit of paradise.

To help me celebrate the release of SWEET LIFE, Big Island Candies has partnered with me to create 25 generous “Life is Sweet” chocolate, cookie and signed books gift baskets valued at over $80 each!

WHAT’S INSIDE:

• one small gold box of Chocolate Dipped Original Shortbread Cookies
• one gold box of Kohala Brownie Assortment
• one petite box of Hawaiian Macadamia Nut Rocky Road
• one petite box of Combination (Dark and Milk) Chocolate Covered Macadamia Nuts
• three Dark Chocolate Dipped Original Shortbread cookies
• one Original Biscotti with Milk Chocolate waves
• one Original Biscotti with Dark Chocolate Waves
• one signed copy of GOOD THINGS
• one signed copy of SWEET LIFE
• an assortment of temporary hibiscus tattoos, tropical key chains, monogrammed GOOD THINGS and SWEET LIFE pens, and bookmarks

HOW TO ENTER (it’s easy!)

1. For one (1) contest entry – sign up for my newsletter on my website and leave a comment below telling me what makes your life sweet. I don’t spam or share lists and you can unsubscribe at any time. In addition, you will be automatically entered for all future giveaways and contests.
2. If you are already on my mailing list and your contact information is complete, you are automatically entered into this contest–just enter your email address and click “Go” to make sure your profile is up to date. If you joined my mailing list prior to September 8, 2008, you don’t need to leave a comment to be entered but don’t let that stop you from leaving one!
3. For three (3) contest entries – write a blog post about the giveaway and link back to this post. If your blog post does not appear under the “Pingbacks,” please leave a comment with a URL to the post. Add one (1) extra entry if you Stumble, Digg, Tweet, or post about the giveaway on message boards. Link back or leave a separate comment about it.
4. For five (5) contest entries – buy a copy of SWEET LIFE and email the receipt to bonus [at] miaking [dot] com. This offer expires September 27, 2008, so get your copy now and dramatically increase your chances to win! You can also buy SWEET LIFE at your local bookseller–just snail mail the receipt to the address on the contact page and make sure I receive it before September 27, 2008.

ELIGIBILITY AND THE UNFORTUNATE DISCLAIMERS

1. Twenty-five winners will be announced on September 27, 2008 (Mia’s 40th birthday). Winners will be notified via email within 15 business days will be drawn from this site as well as from the other print media and blogs hosting Mia’s giveaway (and yes, you can enter on those contests, too! Google to find them and follow their rules and guidelines).
2. Open to U.S. residents only. Must be 18 or older to participate.
3. Any prize or prize notification returned to Mia or Big Island Candies as undeliverable will result in the awarding of that prize to an alternate winner.
4. No purchase is necessary to win.
5. One prize per winner.
6. The gift baskets, books and promotional items are given in-kind and have no cash value.
7. Basket contents and style may vary slightly depending on availability.
8. This give-away contest is for fans and readers of Mia King, and is therefore offered in good faith and in the spirit of fun and aloha. Mia King, miaking.com, Big Island Candies and Penguin Group USA, Inc. assume no liability for damages associated with the gift basket or contents contained herein.

You can buy your copy of SWEET LIFE now by clicking on the bookseller of your choice: amazon.com | Barnes & Noble | Indie Bound. Thank you for helping me celebrate this special day!

Mia

• “I’m going to write my next book in three months’ flat!”
• “I’m going to write my next book right after that!”
• “My writing career is off to a great start!”
• “I love being able to write whenever I can!”
• “I love that my kids are growing older and don’t need me all of the time!” (Okay, this is not entirely true since my oldest is 7 and youngest is 22 months, but you know what I mean)
• “I’m finally a bona fide author and can enjoy the craft, plus make some decent money!” (Again, not entirely true yet but hopefully will be soon)

So here I am, kind of in a writer’s la-la-land when the news comes in (“This just in – literally!”). I am pregnant with #3. Not book, but BABY.

Don’t ask me if this was planned, because my response will be something like, “Ummm … what do you mean exactly by planned?” Does, yes we were open to it but not sure if it would happen, suffice? And what about not expecting it to happen, well, now when we kind of have a few things going on, like editorial deadlines?

My brain is officially mush and I have the same amount of energy as a slug. I got the final edits into my editor for book #2, SWEET LIFE (Berkley Books, Sept 2008 – aka THE ALOHA DIARIES before we changed the name), and it’s gone off for copy edits. This happened before sperm met egg. But now my husband’s second book, THE SEVEN PERSONALITIES OF GOLF (Stewart Tabori & Chang, Sept 2008) is due at the end of the year (what does his deadline have to do with me being pregnant? Refer to the “my brain is officially mush …” and picture him preparing meals and vacuuming while also trying to run his golf academy and write his book). And I was supposed to get a synopsis and sample chapters for book #3 to my editor by Thanksgiving (not!). So then I asked if December would be okay (not not!). Finally I asked my agent to intervene and play the “my client is pregnant and a basket case” card until I can pull it together. Really. The fact that I am even writing this post is somewhat of a miracle.

So I actually went into a bit of a slump. OK, it could be the hormones (I am 39, after all – my hormones are ALL OVER the place, not to mention the pregnancy kind of kicked it into high gear) but I know it is more than that. Sometimes our best-laid plans about how our books will do or what our writing career will look like can throw us for a loop. Honestly? I was a wee disappointed, not to mention discouraged (the latter a result of my “brain mush” state) that the thought of writing my next book now feels about as fun as running 26 miles in high heat.

But I like to think that even though I can barely manage to bathe myself a couple of times a week, that there is an infinitely creative purpose and process in store for me with baby #3 and book #3. Of course, I have no idea what that could be, but I have learned that it does work out. It does.

So if you get thrown for a loop with your books or your writing process, have your breakdown (if necessary), voice your fears and concerns (even the unpopular ones), and then, well, roll with it, baby. Expect it to be a great ride, even if it wasn’t the one you planned to get on. Leaving room for possibilities can be one of the greatest creative experiences of all.

My greatest fear is that PMS does not exist

and that this is the real me.

There was a picture, too, of a slightly-crazed, intense-looking artsy-type woman sort of getting in your face.

Needless to say, I bought the card and am now looking for the perfect frame to put it in.

Some of my greatest life lessons happened in the past year. Here I am, about to turn 39 (birthday is 9/27 if anyone wants to send a card, flowers or chocolate), married to a great guy, mother of two great kids, living in Hawaii, first book published, co-owner of a very cool golf academy that people love, and I am just now learning to love the person staring back at me in the mirror.

Hello!

I spent a nice chunk of my life making excuses for who I am or situations that I’m in- “I’m not normally this messy,” “I’m not normally this crazy,” “I’m not normally this nosy,” “I’m still battling those last 5-10 pounds,” “I’m not really that smart – anyone can do it,” … get out the violin! Perhaps one of the reasons I’m finally coming to terms with this is because I’m getting older and too tired to come up with excuses. I like to think it’s because I’m becoming more aware, more me.

So here’s how all this ties into this week’s topic: publication has been one of my greatest teachers this year. Sure, I have the teacher I’ll never forget (Joseph Mancini, my creative writing instructor at Georgetown University summer school, and possibly the only person who acknowledged that I had any sort of gift with writing), but the actual experience of publication has taught me A LOT.

As much as I love being published (I have an ISBN! I’m in the Library of Congress! People have actually read my books and like them!), I’ve accepted that it doesn’t define me. Okay, for a moment there I let it define me, but as with all things external, it never works to let things outside of you tell you who you are. Instead, it’s the other way around. This is who I am, and, among many other things, I write.

Next, if you’ve ever really wanted to grasp the concept of not giving a **** about what other people think, publication will pretty much help you get there. Does my editor love me? Do my friends think I’m a good writer? Will my local bookstore carry my books? Will my local bookstore re-order my books? Will my local bookstore hand-sell my books? What if my family hates my book and thinks I’m a lousy writer? Do the reviewers love me? Do they really, really love me? I’ll give you fair warning that it may take a while to buck this one, but in the span of 2-5 months (starting a month before publication), you’ll get an opportunity to turbo-charge through this issue.

And finally, if you’ve ever grappled with the question, “What should I do with my life?” and thought that publication would be the answer to that question, well, I’m here to say that maybe writing WILL be your life, but maybe not. Maybe it’ll be just a part of it, and that’s okay, too. It doesn’t mean you won’t be successful, or that you won’t hit the NYT Bestseller list or have your book made into a movie – all those things can definitely happen. But how fabulous would it be to have that AND everything else, too?

Now, I’m settling into my life and body, which includes, among other things, being an intense creative with occasional bouts of PMS (refer back to the card at the beginning of the post) as well as a published writer (okay, okay – it is still very cool). And I hope that your writing journey, regardless of where you are in it, leads you to some brilliant ah-ha moments, too.

To go off topic here for a minute, why is it that the anxiety to meet a deadline is met in part by all this emotional eating? It’s probably just a chick thing, too, which is even more infuriating. I’ve been tracking the progress of novel #2 by word count (which means nothing and everything), but maybe I should have charted my weight instead. I honestly think I am about 10 pounds over where I was when I started at the beginning of May. That’s, what, two months? Egads.

Here are my comfort foods, which I know probably doesn’t even technically qualify as “food.” But short of putting them in my acknowledgments, they did help me cross the finish line and therefore deserve some mention. Here they are, in no particular order:

• Chocolate, pretty much in any form, although Reese’s Peanut Butter cups managed to rise to the top of the list
• Kona coffee (I actually don’t drink coffee all that often, but I certainly made up for these past two months)
• Potato chips
• Doritos (original – none of that ranch flavor or anything else will do)
• Cheese puffs (from the health food store and Cheetos)
• Spam musubi(I know – there’s really nothing more to say about this one)
• Powdered donuts (I think I even did a post on this)
• McDonald’s Happy Meals (hamburger)

Of course I did manage to have three (okay, two) square meals a day and got my fruits and vegetables (occasionally) so it wasn’t like I was gorging on this stuff 24/7. But I’d be kidding if I didn’t say they didn’t have a place in my diet these past few weeks.

What do you eat when you’re in deadline mode?

In a nutshell, Dr. Emoto believes that water can absorb, hold, and even retransmit human feelings and emotions. He found that crystals formed in frozen water reveal changes when specific, concentrated thoughts are directed toward it. Music, visual images, words written on paper, and photographs also have an impact on the crystal structure.

He found that water from clear springs and water exposed to loving words shows brilliant, complex, and colorful snowflake patterns, while polluted water and water exposed to negative thoughts forms incomplete, asymmetrical patterns with dull colors. Dr. Emoto believes that since people are 70% water, and the Earth is 70% water (hello, I never put that together before!), we can heal our planet and ourselves by consciously expressing love and goodwill.

What do you think? Can our thoughts and intentions affect water? Is it as simple as a thought?