The Best Job in the World!
Posted on | July 1, 2006 | Leave a comment | Print This Post
I am referring, of course, to motherhood. I guess that should be Motherhood. And it really is awesome … most of the time … and completely fulfilling … whatever that means … and I wouldn’t trade it for the world … that is the truth …
But here’s a quick run-down of the past half hour (and I apologize to any men who might be reading this blog who aren’t comfortable with breastfeeding, which is a damn shame since you tend to be pretty breast-obsessed as a gender, no offense):
0:01 Finally get some snappy dialogue going between my two main characters who, up to this point, were acting a bit constipated.
0:02 Rolling with the dialogue. Totally inspired, this is why I became a writer!
0:03 Baby cries. He’s awake. And a little put out. And wants to nurse. But maybe he’ll go back to sleep. My characters need me.
0:03:15 Crying is getting louder and, not wanting to wake up my other sleeping child, I leave my characters to go turbo nurse.
0:06 I anxiously return, triumphant and ready to write. My characters are connecting, having a moment … it’s all just great.
0:10 Baby cries. I go back and nurse.
0:15 I’m back again at the keyboard, ready to take my characters across the finish line.
0:17 Baby cries. I am obviously leaving before he’s finished nursing or fallen back asleep. My fault. I’m a terrible mother. I go back and nurse.
0:25 I’m back at the keyboard. Where was I?
0:26 Is that the baby crying or the wind?
0:27 I wonder if I should use a different font for my manuscript. Times Roman is so boring.
0:28 I wonder if anybody sent me a comment on myspace.com.
0:29 No, no comments. But I really like that music I chose for my profile! I think I’ll listen to it again.
0:30 Baby cries. What’s it going to take for me to get some work done around here?!!!
I’d probably be complaining more if there weren’t so many perks and benefits that went along with this job, such as hugs, kisses, and about 100 renditions of me in crayon, colored pencil, and non-toxic poster paint. Another plus: they can’t fire me. I am Chairman and CEO of this company for life! Now tell me: where else can you get a deal like that?!
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